How not to let Love & Desire end up in Greed & Anger?
LS202308-01Greed and Anger arises when the ego Self is not satisfied
Be a Diligent Watchman of our Love and Desire
A man talked about his thoughts on his 18 years of marriage life and confessed that his wife becomes a sight that remind him of either food or sex depending on his desire at that moment. He has honestly reflected and acknowledged his beloved partner has ended up becoming a means to satisfy his desires. However, he cannot break out of his habitual tendencies to constantly look upon others or tools to satisfy his desires. In simplicity, he is gulity of such acts and thoughts that made him feel like a bad person, at least to his wife.
Similarly, when we see a McDonalds outlet, we feel hungry recollecting the desire for good taste from past experience. When this desire is satisfied, we feel happy and yearned for next round of happiness through satisfying our desires for pleasant sights, words that we want to hear, smell that we like, pleasant taste, pleasant feeling of the body from touching, exercising, massaging, etc or pleasant thoughts that we concur or like. However, this pleasantness is different for every indivdual. For example, some people like durian but others feel that it smells like shit. So when different people have different aspects or expectations towards the the word “Pleasant”, conflicts and arguments arise.
So when any of our desires are not satisfied, regardless how tiny that desire was, we have a tiny unpleasantness buried in our heart. Over time, as many tiny unpleasantness accumulate, anger grows with every desire not being satisfied. All these desires and anger weaken our heart and mind and ultimately our overall well-being, causing illnesses and various health problems.
On the surface, it seems that as long as most of our desires are satisfied, we will have less anger and lesser resulting bad consequences. This is only solving the problem on the surface. For example, if someone has desire for McDonalds’ fastfood and he is able to satisfy that by eating it almost daily. Over time, he will have desires for other food like Chinese cuisine, Pasta, Mexican food,etc. This desire for taste is endless and so he ended up having high cholestrol, high blood sugar, etc. So satisfying the desire to enjoy short-lived happiness is just short-sightedness over the issue of managing anger.
Some people who are more mindful, will choose to lead a balanced lifestyle and keep their desires to a moderate level. How moderate can we be in all aspects of life? We can eat moderately, play moderately, drink moderately... but when it comes to earning money, the desire will suddenly skyrocket. For example, when a person speculates in the share market, he expects to buy at the lowest price and sell at the highest. He never thinks of the other person who continues to buy from his selling, will suffer great loss because his greed blinds his empathy. Anyone who lost his money from dropping a wallet to a bad investment, will suffer adverse emotions that is detrimental to one’s health.
If one agrees that any desire in life is not good for us, the next questions are:
-how to live without desires
-how to eliminate all our desires
-can we keep good desires
Unless one is cultivating to become a Saint who practises great virtues and deep meditation and reflection, one can never eliminate all desires. Maintaining a balance or struggling to strike a balance is the best one can do to avoid the extreme adversities. If one can treat oneself as the third person instead of the actual ego self loving and desiring, this third party view will give much more clarity and awareness on any situation that arouses desires. Thus, one will be able to avoid pitfalls that can slide into greed and anger. If one keeps a handful of good desires, one has to a diligent watchman over one’s mind and reflects constantly. Keeping good desires that is directed at benefitting others will transform into blessings that money cannot buy.
If a rare one endeavours to become a Saint, he has to forgo all good and bad desires because having any desire taints the clarity and impartiality of the Mind which is vital for the accomplishment of Ultimate Perfection of Wisdom and Emptiness.
How genuine is our love and desire? A toddler loves his bolster with his cries, a teenager loves his games with all his rage, a man loves his beloved with vows and promises, a mother loves her baby with her life...and the list goes on. When the toddler grew up to become a teenager, he forsook his old bolster love and then he will forsake his games for his beloved, maybe. Mortal’s love is everchanging and impermanent because it is based on the desires of the self ego at different moments. When desires are biased or irrational, those ‘loves’ are doomed to fail and end up in arguments, fights, divorce, sufferings, etc. The more we understand our ego self, the more we keep out of sufferings and stay with innner peace and bliss. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can genuinely love this world.
Hope this brief sharing can be understood and beneficial.
CoolThoughts
